PASSAGES: The Celtic tradition honors three passages in a woman’s life; Maiden, Mother, Crone. As crones we have integrated the tender aspects of the maiden, the many lessons of mothering and the rich experience of a life long lived. Still, all are a part of the whole. Perhaps you are in a time of transition, between mother and crone, a cronette so to speak. See your future self, a beautiful face graced with history, a healthy, vibrant body and clear sharp mind. Trust that this is the best time of life.
In Western societies, the aged woman has long been dismissed as no longer having value. Nothing could be further from the truth. As elders, women have a whole lifetime of wisdom to share from the many lessons they have learned. Much of this wisdom has been lost or hidden away from younger women who might take advantage of learning from an elder. Perpetual youth is the goal of many women who are under the spell of this myth that an older woman has nothing worth sharing.
However, there is a new breed of women who have gone through life and reached the crone stage, who are willing to express what they have learned. As they look back on their life, they see younger women making the same mistakes that they did, all leading to the same result – a life of unhappiness and confusion.
The desire to share the knowledge that they have acquired over many life experiences is so strong that they are willing to stand up and speak truthfully to the younger generations following behind them. They know that life can be wonderful and amazing, and that inner peace and happiness is a much worthier goal than to remain youthful in appearance.
These wise women of knowledge have learned the advantages of being an elder and would not change a thing to be younger once more. There is much power in having survived many decades of life and that power brings the courage to stand up, to speak up and move beyond the fear of being ostracized by society. The judgements of other people no longer have any meaning to them. They are finally free to live as they choose and, in that freedom, they live their personal truth.
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SHARING: Sisterhood is more important than ever. By sharing our emotions, fears and changes, we empower each other’s growth. Seek out companionship with those you trust and feel comfortable with. Sharing makes everything better, whether it be food, work or laughter. Make new friends but keep the old, one is silver and the other’s gold.
When we share our thoughts, emotions and experiences with others, we open a space for them to also share their lives with us. Women need the company of other women. This is one of the things I have learned through my life; having a friend who is willing to listen without judgement as we pour our heart out to them is so important. Talking about things allows us to purge those uncomfortable emotions that keep circulating in our heads.
When we are listened to without any judgement or criticism, when we are celebrated for having the courage to speak up, we blossom into our authentic selves. And we are able to listen in return so another woman can feel free to share her most inner thoughts and emotions also.
This kind of sharing creates lasting bonds between women, many who once feared speaking their truth. This experience of sharing deeply personal feelings frees us to be more understanding of another woman’s journey. What she has experienced often is familiar to us as we have passed through the same experience in our own lives.
We are more alike than not. It doesn’t matter where we live in the world. Women are innately the same and sharing provides the truth of this fact.
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LAUGHTER: The power of laughter to heal is essential. A movie, a comedian, nothing beats rolling around on the living room floor in tears. Bring humor to all you can, leaving those around you with a light-hearted feeling that will carry them throughout their day. Laugh out loud!
I will never forget being in a train station in Tokyo with my friend, when I laughed too loudly at something she said and all the disapproving stares from hundreds of Japanese men in western business suits. It made me want to laugh some more. I have always had an exuberant laugh, one that makes other people want to join in and laugh also.
When something so funny makes you laugh until your stomach aches and you can’t catch your breath, that is healing. Your stomach muscles gets a huge workout and you feel so refreshed afterwards. Laughter is the best medicine for what ails you.
People remember you by how you make them feel. Many people are so lost in their own repetitive thoughts about their problems, they welcome a respite from the emotional drain of those thoughts. Being around a person who has the gift of bringing joy and laughter to them, allows them to escape their problems for a while. And they never forget how that person brought a short healing experience to them and how improved they felt afterwards.
Laughter is essential to our well-being. The more laughter in our lives, the better we feel. Don’t be afraid to laugh out loud no matter where you are. Yes, there will be people who will look at you and those are the ones who need healing the most. Laugh anyway.
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