(This is a speech I gave recently about the silencing of women.)
I stand here as a free woman, silent no more and walking a message of truth within myself that I was afraid to put my voice to. I stand here for each woman who lives in fear of speaking her truth, of sharing her story. I stand here for every woman who has been bullied, intimidated or outright silenced with fear of being cast aside, physically hurt, emotional suffering and even death. I stand for all the women who, over thousands of years, had their voices silenced. I stand with compassion for them and send healing back through the long years of time. May they all rest in eternal peace.
Most people believe that the fear of public speaking is real, but few people know why we fear it.
Women fear public speaking for one reason; we have been silenced by dominant male societies over the long centuries of time. Our existence was that of submitting to the demands of every man in our life, beginning with our fathers to brothers to husbands and including bosses or friends. We were not allowed to voice an opinion, to disagree with a man, or live beyond the norms of our society. We were possessions with no power.
Generations of silencing by threat of physical harm, loss of children, being declared insane and interred in a woman’s insane asylum for as small a reason as arguing with a husband or being cast aside for a younger woman were just a few of the disempowering fears women lived with their whole lives. I believe this fear lives in our DNA just like the fear of loud noises or of falling.
I invite you take a walk back in time with me. The year is 1957, the place – Santa Monica, California. In the heat of the day, shaded by a large tree, two little girls, about 4 years old, are sitting on the curb of the street, eating pretzels. They are laughing and having so much fun. When the pretzels are all gone, one girl asked the other if she would go home and ask her mom for some more pretzels. Her friend jumps up immediately and runs into the street, into the path of an oncoming car, which hits her. The horrific scene of her friend lying motionless on the ground, scares her so much that she runs home as fast as she can! She was really afraid that it was her fault that her friend got hit by a car because she wanted more pretzels. When her mother saw her face, she knew something was wrong. When she asked her child what happened, her daughter couldn’t, wouldn’t answer her. Her immense fear of being responsible kept her silent. The injured girl’s mother called and explained what had happened. It was an accident and not her daughter’s fault at all.
How does a four-year-old understand fear and being at fault? How was it, that she was silenced by fear at such a young age?
It is not only women’s voices that have been silenced, but also the voice of the Divine Feminine. We have lost our connection to the Divine Feminine and our own inner guidance system. We lost our connection to our intuition, as over the years, woman’s intuition was demonized, mocked as nonsense, discounted and destroyed on many levels. Our natural ability to tune in to our higher self was systematically destroyed as women were diminished in power and knowledge by the uncontrolled urge of masculine energy to conquer everything that was considered beneath a man’s status.
Most people think that women don’t speak up from a lack of confidence, but the truth is that they have been silenced too many times while growing up.
One day, my brother and I were playing next door with the seven kids who lived there. I was the youngest and the boys took great pleasure in making me mad by teasing me. I got so mad on this day, that I picked up a push broom to threaten one of the boys with. I was about six years old, and the push broom was too heavy for me to hold up. It fell over and hit the boy in the head, giving him a small cut. His mother punished me by sending me home. My dad told me, “Don’t get mad. People won’t like you.” Unfortunately, I took this message to heart and never allowed myself to express anger at anyone for any reason for many years. This turned me into a doormat.
In my teens and into my twenties, if there was something I wanted to do that my dad disagreed with, he would say, “Do what you want, but I think you’re stupid.” I never did figure out a good answer to that. If I did what I wanted, I was stupid and if I didn’t do what I wanted to do, I felt stupid for not following my desires. In my twenties, I got some counseling and was able to confront my dad with how that statement made me feel. His short reply was, “Well, you are!” I realized right then that I didn’t have a problem. It was his problem.
Political correctness also silences women. If we think or believe differently than others, the Fear returns, reminding us of being ostracized for being different, of having our voice silenced by the sheer numbers of the thought police, who come in the guise of family, friends and strangers. It takes courage and a strong belief in self to stand up to censorship in any form.
A woman who has no voice, no confidence in herself or her ability to speak her truth, will not speak out against her husband who beats her, her boss who belittles her or the men who sexually assaulted her as a child. She cannot stand against these men until she regains the ability to use her voice, and this is only accomplished in a safe space with a group of women who listen unconditionally and non-judgmentally.
As the divine Feminine energy returns to Gaia, we are slowly, so slowly receiving the courage we need to regain our voices. Many of us are feeling the call to connect with other women who also want to share their stories. We are drawn to safe, supportive spaces with compassionate women guides who assist us in finding that inner voice that seeks expression. We learn that we are able to communicate authentically, honestly and compassionately.
“The Dali Lama has said “it is the voices of Western women who will change the world.”
As the divine Feminine energy returns to Gaia, we are slowly, so slowly receiving the courage we need to regain our voices. Many of us are feeling the call to connect with other women who also want to share their stories. We are drawn to safe, supportive spaces with compassionate women guides who assist us in finding that inner voice that seeks expression. We learn that we are able to communicate authentically, honestly and compassionately.
Who will stand with me, for the scared little four-year-old that I once was, and for all young girls who are afraid; and for all the grown-up women who also feel the fear; and for all the women around our planet who have no voice, who live with the fear? Who will stand with me now and release their voice, by saying Silent No More?