Two days after our twenty-fifth wedding anniversary, my husband said something that brought me to my knees and shattered everything I believed about the life I was living. He said, “I don’t like you.”
I felt like I had been kicked in the stomach. Everything I had thought was real turned to rotten fruit in my heart. Needing some distance from him, I moved out of our bedroom and into the two-room apartment we had created for my mom to stay in when she lived with us before she passed away. This space became my sanctuary. I had my own bathroom and a small kitchenette. It was all I needed to heal my heart and recreate my life in my image.
The interesting thing is that I didn’t like me either. I realized that I had given my power over to him, allowing his opinion to decide what was best for me. For twenty-six years, I had worked at a business of his choice, one that I could make a lot of money doing. Knowing that my ability to earn money was especially important to him, I sold my soul and began to clean houses. He was right. I did make a lot of money, but I lost myself in the process.
This period in my life was so unbearably painful, it was all I could do to make it through each day. My nights were endless hours of sleeplessness with a mind that replayed unpleasant events over and over again. I dragged myself through work seeking some moments of satisfaction, but they were elusive.
Eventually, I began to heal. It was difficult work and I spent much of my time picking up the pieces of my shattered life. During this process, I realized that my life was my own again. I could recreate it in my image instead of living what someone else thought my life should be and how I should live it. I embraced this philosophy whole-heartedly and began my inner journey to rediscover my authentic self.
Almost four years later, after much inner work of soul healing, heart opening and accepting myself as a divine, sovereign being, I am happier than I have ever been. I know my personal truths and I stand in the integrity of them. I am kinder, more loving and understanding of why we are all here on this planet. I have conquered so many lessons, experienced the process of returning to myself and because of this, the wisdom and knowledge I gained I now share with all on the path of self-realization.
My life is my creation and I am happy with the on-going results daily. Yes, the journey has been challenging and unrelenting in the lessons I needed to learn, yet I feel it is my greatest accomplishment so far in this lifetime. I am watched over by a spiritual team of guides who want nothing but the best for me. The guidance I receive from them is unsurpassed and I am blessed with all their assistance.
Most people think or believe that living authentically is hard, but the reality or truth is when you live who you are, life is easier, you are free, happier and there are no limits.